38198

Joke of the Day

"Man arrested on charges of being nice, quiet guy. ""I'm shocked, he always seemed like such a murderous asshole,"" said a neighbor."

"Pregnant by Jesus How come my wife never gets pregnant when Jesus screws her? Because she tells Him to come into her heart."

"I finally found out what FDA stands for. Fucking Die Already"

"What has wheels and is green? Grass, I lied about the wheels."

"The programmer's wife tells her husband: ""Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. if they have eggs, get a dozen."" The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread."

"Stevie Wonder walked into a bar He never saw it coming."

"Did you hear about the guy who died from eating too many doughnuts? You could say... He went out in a glaze of glory (_) ( _)>- (_)"

"Gravity is just the earth being really clingy"

"I wanna see Le Pan Quotidien fight Au Bon Pain in a pretentious chain restaurant cage match & the winner gets to fight Pret-a-Manger."

"What do you call it when a gangster accidentally kills a fellow gang member? Homiecide"