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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a girlfriend and a toilet The toilet doesn't want to cuddle after you dump a load in it."

"Comas can really change the meaning of a sentence. For example: ""Ben is in a hurry"" ""Ben is in a coma"""

"Why did the terrorist go to Sonic? To have a Blast!"

"Whenever i have a headache,i take two asprins and keep away the children,like the bottle says"

"Pizza will never hurt your feelings."

"Like grandpa always said, 'If you kids don't stop retweeting yourself, you'll go blind.'"

"How did the scottsman find the sheep in the tall grass? Very pleasurable."

"OMG, you guys, there's a button on this stove that says ""Stop Time"". Should I press it??"

"Note to self: before sending that e-mail... Don't ever rely again on the e-mail engine spell check. Latest letter of intent of mine went out with a 'T' instead of a 'G' in ""Best Regards"""

"Password. ""I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."""