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Joke of the Day

"Got a reality check today It bounced."

"What did the two tampons have in common? They were both stuck up bitches"

"I bought theater food once. Long story short my son will no longer be going to college.."

"I got a new piercing I flopped my cock out in front of a girl last night and said ""do you like my new piercing??"" After a few seconds she replied "" where's the piercing then?"" I said ""in my ear"""

"To drown in a swamp would be a quite symmetrical way to kick the bucket ... Your life began when you were pushed out of a slimy hole, now it ends while you're getting sucked into one."

"What's the difference between a midget and a dwarf? Very little!"

"Originally I didn't like having a beard but then it grew on me."

"How do you make Obama's eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in his ears"

"If you're a germaphobe and you know it... wash your hands!"

"What did the Italian chef say when asked, ""How do make these triangular meatballs taste so good?"" *stereotypical Italian accent* I sauce-a these"