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Joke of the Day

"Why did the bar owner by a diamond mine get arrested? He attributed to the delinquency of a miner."

"I heard they were gonna make a movie about Michael Jackson It was gonna be titled ""50 Shades of Black""."

"OK it's like sure, I've MURDERED before. Big deal. Sue me. It's not like I'm a MURDERER or anything. I only do it socially."

"Salesman: That suit looks nice. It fits like a bandage. Customer: Thanks. I bought it by accident."

"What's the difference between a Mexican joke and a black joke? Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal"

"Me: Hi, thanks for meeting with me. Oh is it pronounced Caroline or Carolynn? Her: anything is fine Me: ........ok Sarah, let's get started."

"What do you call a dog with no hind legs and brass balls? Sparky"

"ME [struggling]: skinny jeans, skinny jeans, let me in SCARED DENIM: don't come back till you're thinny, thin, thin"

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. The question is how they got in there."

"User interface? I hardly even know her."