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Joke of the Day

"TIP OF THE DAY: If you can't afford porn, just turn on tennis and shut your eyes."

"The F.U.N. Song F is for fascists who kill jews together U is for you and me N is for anywhere and any time at all down in the auschwitz death camp"

"Why are pirates never scared of a storm? Because they love torrents."

"A Blonde on her way to Disneyland... ...saw a sign that said ""Disneyland, Left"", so she turned around and went home."

"My sex life is like 9/11 No one wanted it."

"Did you hear they just passed a law making round hay bales illegal? They says that they don't give cows a square meal."

"How do you make a fireman cry? Kill his family."

"The club can't even handle me right now. Like, the club's just had a very emotionally draining day and the club's been in a weird place."

"trolls have found a terrible new way to antagonize me. it is called ""retweeting"" and it works by exposing my posts to scammers & crumb bums."

"Jared Fogle's career ending the same way it started.... Trying to get into smaller pants"