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Joke of the Day
"What's the worst thing about banging a girl with a cold heart? The rest of her is cold too."
Next Joke
"[first date] HER: I really like you ME: I like you too HER: So did you bring protection? ME: *gesturing to my bodyguard* Yeah, this is Tony"
"How long does it take for an African mom to shit? 9 months..."
"My diet always starts on a Monday morning and ends at the donuts somebody brings into the office later that morning."
"Donald Trump, his publicist, and his ghostwriter walk into a bar... ""So you're alone tonight, Donnie?"""
"A magician says to his wife to 'Pick a card. Any card.' She takes his credit card and leaves."
"Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they'll paw at you a little bit then give up and go look for food.."
"What's the difference between me and a cardboard box? A cardboard box isn't always empty on the inside. :("
"I really want to buy one of those grocery checkout dividers. But the lady behind the counter keeps putting it back."
"Holiday tip. Always buy people gifts that you would like for yourself in case they piss you off before Christmas"