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Joke of the Day

"Mum could you write me a P.E. note? dear miss My daughter has requested i write a note for P.E. hear it is.. I found this funny i found it on the mirrors website, like this actually happened ha"

"I hope ""citibank"" is better at math than spelling."

"I just had hip replacement surgery It's a really new procedure; you've probably never heard of it."

"I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn't even eat them."

"I like my women like Hawaii... Warm, wet, and Asian."

"Why don't blind people go skydiving? Because it scares the shit out of the dog."

"I was walking downtown yesterday when this poor little old lady fell down in front of me. At least I think she was poor; she only had $2.10 in her purse."

"My grandpa use to tell us about walking 10 miles to school. I tell my grandchildren about walking across the room to change channels!"

"Having an intelligent conversation with my 17 year old son. Just kidding. He's making fart noises while I talk about the SATs."

"2 weeks sober. I'm 2 weeks Sober, Unintentionally. Now I'm sitting here wondering why good things happen, to bad people."