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Joke of the Day

"Having a one night stand with a beautiful woman (NSFW) and she says, ""Give me 9 inches and hurt me."" So I fucked her 3 times and I slapped her."

"I was sailing a yacht with my stomach, abseiling"

"Who is the Sith Lord of fear? Count Spooku"

"I can't remember what age I am? Last time I checked I was 15, and that was 10 years ago!"

"Walked right by an ex-girlfriend today. Not on purpose, I just didn't recognize her with her mouth closed."

"I think we should hear adeles boyfriends songs before we pick sides."

"What do you call a Rapper who smokes too much? Tupac-aday"

"What starts with ""F"" and ends with ""uck""? Fuck."

"Why are all early birds Catholics? Protestant birds don't really want a Diet of Worms."

"I always wondered why cross eyed people never get hit crossing the road. Then it hit me. They are always looking both ways."