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Joke of the Day

"Pro-life or Pro-choice? I'm really unsure how to feel about planned parenthood and abortion. I mean, on one hand I'm all for killing babies but on the other I don't like giving women a choice. Damn..."

"What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? SNOWBALLS"

"Get two dogs and name them 'one' and 'two'. Because if one runs away, you'll still have two."

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fsh."

"I hate when people people ask me what I'm doing in 5 years I mean like, come on guys I don't have 20/20 vision."

"How do you know statisticians are always serious? They mean what they say."

"What's a golf club's favorite type of music? Swing!"

"We've replaced Steve's regular coffee with a detailed understanding of the impending heat death of the universe. Let's see if he notices."

"What did the Elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe out of that little thing?"

"Jamie Oliver says there's ""nothin worse in the world than an undercooked green bean"" I'll go out on a limb & say he doesn't watch the news."