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Joke of the Day

"Look, you invented bread and I invented knives. Let's combine forces and we could be the best thing since...well we'll think of that later."

Next Joke
 
"They should do a scene in a comedy movie where someone rides their bike into a parked car."
"Everyone has a best friend who's mom they've wanted to fuck I like to think of my older brother as my best friend"
"So I went clubbing last night... Those seals didn't stand a chance."
"What's the hardest thing about becoming a lawyer in Ireland? Passing the bar."
"Masturbation is an excellent skill to have. Done right, it sure comes in handy."
"How is a good criminal defense lawyer like a dead hooker? I use them both to get off."
"Bumped into my Ex again. I should really move her to a different part of the freezer."
"My kids got in a fist fight while playing one of those claw machines at the pizza joint & shit like that is why I'm never sober."
"just putting the facts out there 2 educate. personally know a guy who tried pot one time and he was mauled to death by a bear years later"