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Joke of the Day
"People say Money talks... But all mine says is Goodbye."
Next Joke
"I knew you would come crawling back to me. Shut up and give me back the wheelchair."
"You are what you eat. *eats Ryan Gosling* *crosses fingers*"
"I've watched three episodes of ""I Shouldn't Be Alive"" tonight, adding ""outdoor enthusiast and survival expert"" to my online dating profile."
"My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous... The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was."
"A man and a woman are talking Man: I can predict the future. I know my child's last name. But you can't. Woman: Well I know my child is going to be mine."
"Fellas, if she asks you to sign life insurance policies on the way to your honeymoon, you're probably not making it out alive."
"I used to be a werewolf... but I'm alright noooooooowwwwww!"
"Why are prison escapees so frustrating? Because they never finish their s"
"Why did Hitler blows his brains out?... Because he saw his gas bill. Also this joke isn't funny, one of my family members died in a concentration camp. He went to take a piss and fell out of a tower."