2017
Joke of the Day
"""Pardon me miss, but would you mind moving out of the way?"" --Polite Ludacris"
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"A husband and wife talk about the weather... She's too wet and he says it's coming down hard."
"A husband says to his wife, ""What would you do if I won Lotto?"" She says, ""I'd take half, then leave you."" ""Excellent,"" he replies, ""I won $12, here's $6 - now fuck off!"""
"You people remind me of lemons.... You're sour, some people like you, and your juices can be squeezed out for money."
"[job int] ""& what are your areas of weakness?"" [leans in so close my nose touches the interviewers] ""I don't like people touching my nose."""
"Learn how to Wiener Boop https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exb1yVD8SHU&list=UUq54nlcoX-0pLcN5RhxHyug"
"What do you call an unborn child that is excessively ready to accept failure? A defetus"
"Today's episode of Wheel of Fortune has been cancelled because Jesus took the wheel."
"The PC term for Christmas C:\hristmas"
"A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, ""Can I park here?"" ... ... ""No"" says the cop. ""What about all these other cars?"" ""They didn't ask!"""