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Joke of the Day

"I like my coffee how I like my slaves. Whipped"

"What would you get if Geddy Lee, Neil Peart and Alex Lifeson all died in a plane crash? Take your time, there's no Rush..."

"Vladimir Putin is dressing up in a taco costume... I guess you could say he was Putin' on the Ritz."

"Australia beat England in their matchup in the Rugby World Cup. I guess you could say the prisoners beat the guards."

"Sorry in advance for the pun... So they opened a new zoo by my house, it really sucks. They only have one dog....it's a total shih tzu."

"I hate when Spotify is down and I have to listen to Apple Music on my 128 GB Rose Gold iPhone 6s Plus like some kind of homeless person"

"An Irishman walks out of a bar... hey, it could happen!"

"Where did Jewish Rats go during the Holocaust? Mousechwitz"

"A friend asked if I thought there was alien life on other planets and I was like don't give up hope, there's someone out there for you"

"Why is women's soccer so boring? Because all the good female athletes play in men's leagues. Thank you, thank you."