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Joke of the Day

"Benedict Cumberbatch is proof that a white guy banged a cat."

"How can you tell if a farmer is a good farmer? He's out standing in his field"

"What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery guy have in common? They can both smell it but they can't eat it."

"WELL IF BEING DISCHARGED FROM THE HOSPITAL ISNT THE BEST TIME TO ASK ABOUT A THREESOME THEN IM FRESH OUT OF IDEAS"

"Sports: The legal way to buy a black person."

"[girl brings me back to her apartment] her: come to bed me: just one sec [velcro noises] [more velcro noises] [too many velcro noises]"

"I aspire to write jokes for laffy taffy. Q: What do you call a gullible vampire? A: A sucker"

"I'm still drunk with power after a Jehovah's Witness asked, ""'Can I ask you one question?"" & I said, ""I think you just did,"" + kept walking."

"When Siri has her period she uses an iPad. I hate myself."

"TIL the excuse the US Marine used in May 1943 after accidentally friendly fire'ing a British U-boat. Woops, wrong sub."