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Joke of the Day

"Just yelled ""F, YOU GUYS!"" to my students. Another perk of being a music teacher..."

"I just ate my yogurt with a fork, because I've learned that if it looks like you have your shit together, people ask you to do stuff."

"There is a clerk at the butcher shop. He is 5'10"" and wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weight? Meat."

"If all men are the same, why do women take so long to choose one...?"

"How did the Hulk feel after trying to lift Mjolnir? He felt Thor."

"What do you call a statue of Jesus made out of cigarettes? Holy smokes."

"A money-hungry man opted to change his name And the Rich get Richard"

"My mate went for a penis enlargement yesterday. Apparently it's now a foot. Worst plastic surgeon ever..."

"Finding a guy to marry who is rich enough to pay off my debt, but not so rich he wants a prenup is, like, so much harder than I anticipated."

"What's so unpleasant about being drunk? Just ask a glass of water! -Douglas Adams"