195009

Joke of the Day

"Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill"

"I was trying to solve an equation when I realised that the minus button on my calculator was broken... On the plus side, it still worked."

"Some guy at a party asked me, ""Who's cheese is on those chips?"" [Fixed] And I said, ""Well, obviously *na-chos*."" Get it? It sounds like '*not yours*' with an accent."

"Do cannibals prefer red or white wine with dinner? They're not fussed, as long as it's full bodied."

"Last night I found out that my wife has conditional gender dysphoria. She said that she needed to be Frank with me."

"What do you call a person who speaks three languages? Trilingual! Two Languages? Bilingual! Only one language? Americans~"

"If you're going to attack me in an @, you better be prepared to give me like three hours or so to think of a good comeback."

"A woman is on trial For beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says,'First offender?' She says, 'No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!'''"

"Don't talk to me about your drinking problems until you've tried to make your cat wear your contact lenses because he looked a bit squinty."

"How does Batman's mom call him home for dinner? She doesn't because she's dead."