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Joke of the Day

"What did Picard say when Riker asked him what kind of Chinese food he wanted? ""Make it Tso's Number One."""

"What's the difference between a Scotsman and the Rolling Stones? The Rolling Stones say 'hey you, get off my cloud.' the Scotsman says 'hey MaCleod, get off my ewe.'"

"What's the difference between a gay and a microwave.... You can't brown a sausage in a microwave"

"I went to a metal concert, the singer was a bit ill... Still fuckin' sick though!"

"Sometimes I feel like I've traveled back in time, and that I'm not supposed to do anything that screws up a future that I've forgotten."

"use this coupon for the pizza its expired whats the worst that could happen [calls wife 10min later] hello Im in something called pizza jail"

"Edison stole the idea for the lightbulb from the lightbulb that appeared above his head when he got the idea for the phonograph"

"When Santa arrives at home, he says: Honey, I'm ho-ho-home! ... I'll show myself out."

"Not afraid of death anymore because I just woke up from a nap I didn't even know I was having."

"What do a horny ornithologist and a Na'vi buff have in common? They both get turned on by blue tits."