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Joke of the Day

"*climbs into windowless van* *puts on ""Free Hugs"" t-shirt* *heads out to make new friends* *fails* *waits for lawyer in windowless room*"

"A firm handshake and a kiss on the neck is how I like to close my job interviews. Nailed it!"

"Switzerland is a pretty sweet country... and their flag's a big plus."

"I named my son Gram It's short for Grammar because he was supposed to be a period."

"I always cry at weddings (they're wasting so much rice!!)"

"I wasn't going to have a cardiac transplant But then I had a change of heart"

"What's sad about three black guys driving over a cliff in a Cadillac? They were my friends :("

"My favorite thing about camping is when I stay home & don't."

"I used to trust my farts..... But then shit got real."

"""Just spread them open and shove your face in there."" - How to put on glasses."