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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the one about the amber alert? Neither did I, but should I allow the children out of my basement yet?"

"Q: Why does Michael J. Fox make such good milkshakes? A: Because he uses quality ingredients. What did you think, asshole?"

"I asked this girl to talk dirty to me in PM.. Now we are discussing politics and religion."

"Why did Adele cross the road? So she could say hello from the other side (If this has already been posted I might cry I thought I made this all up on my own haha)"

"I really liked the movie, Inception. It's so fast paced and keeps moving forward. Except for Mal, she keeps coming back."

"Just bought diapers and toilet paper because all my family does is shit."

"The new Trump Administration is re-doing the voice mail prompts at the White House... Thank you for calling the White House. For English, press 1. <silence>"

"Q: What is the lightest thing in the world? A: A penis because just a thought can lift it."

"Q: What do you get when you cross an Arab with a Mexican? A: Oil of Ole'"

"Comedian In A Fight!! What does a comedian use in a fight? A Punch Line"