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Joke of the Day

"According to facebook it is my wife's birthday."

"I told Cheryl Cole I was taking her to Scandinavia for a weeks holiday. ""Norway?"" ""No, I'm serious."""

"woman vs Food would be a very boring show where she gazes wistfully at the dessert menu and sighs."

"What's a bigamist? It's a large fog in Italy"

"What would Economics be without assumptions? Accounting"

"The philosopher says the glass is half empty, the optimist says the glass is half full.... The sjw says the glass is half-fluid."

"I don't get the term ""Pansexual"" I mean, I like bread as much as the next guy, but c'mon!"

"You are riding a horse. There is a giraffe beside you and a lion chasing you. What do you do? You get your drunk ass off the carousel. Edit: *off Thanks captain."

"I just did one of those ""what noun are you"" quizzes... and I got ""pedantic"", which is an adjective."

"I bought a race horse and decided to call it ""MY FACE"". Just imagine it running down the home straight with all the women shouting ""COME ON MY FACE""!!"