172553

Joke of the Day

"Went for a handshake and got snubbed. So I turned it into an impromptu Macarena dance, since I didn't wanna look stupid"

"Wish the trash would take me out for once."

"Why are constipated people so rude? They don't give a crap"

"[angrily holding cookie under milk for way too long] Yo whatcha doin bro? [looks him dead in the eye] practicing for you"

"What's the difference between a headmaster and a poisonous snake ? You can make a pet out of a snake !"

"Do you know who wants some good D? no, who? Football fans."

"When grammar nazis correct me, I start to make errors on purpose to mess with them. You can say I'm passive, aggressive."

"%3. Ask Questions. 4. Use the face."

"My grandad keeps complaining about erectile dysfunction. He really needs to grow up."

"What's better than a laxative? Reddit."