169532

Joke of the Day

"The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing."

"Not to brag, but I have the high score on 7 different blood pressure machines around the city. *enters initials"

"What ship will never set sail for OP?"

"I'm starting a self-serve fork business. It's called Go Fork Yourself."

"My biggest problem with passive smoking is having to follow the smoker around."

"What has 4 wheels and flies? A garbage truck."

"POLICE OFFICER: ""Do you know why I pulled you over?"" ME: ""Because you know I love riddles."""

"Why Was Vista Afraid of Seven? Cause seven eight ten."

"Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working? A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No."

"When things are bad, remember: At least you're not as big an asshole as the guy who invented putting walnuts in chocolate chip cookies."