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Joke of the Day
"If twenty dogs run after one cat what time is it? Twenty after one."
Next Joke
"Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? 'Cause they all have phones!"
"The best things in life are free. Fuck vowels."
"Who is the scientist's favorite zombie? The schrodinger cat."
"What happens in Vegas never happens to me."
"What did the blind, deaf, mute quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer."
"""I do not negotiate with terrorists!"" said me, everyday, multiple times a day, to my children."
"""do you know why I pulled one over on you?"" becau- wait what? ""I'm not a real cop lol"" haha nice! *pulls gun* ""I am taking your car though"""
"How long does it take to reach the ground from 110 stories up? The rest of your life."
"ORAL SEX At this stage of our marriage, me and the wife only practice oral sex. Whenever we pass each other, we both say , 'fuck you.'"