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Joke of the Day

"What's the sound of a one-handed corpse clapping? Dead silence. What's the sound of a one-handed zombie clapping? Undead silence. Thanks to my gaming group for those."

"boyfriend jeans are over. in 2017 its all about wearing your boyfriend's dog's jeans"

"What do you call a rooster drawing sh*t? Cock-A-Doodle-Doo"

"what do asians do when they have an erection? they vote..."

"Why do penguins have skinny penises because they only have flippers"

"Me: let's try to catch snowflakes on our tongues! Wife: but we're inside.?. Me: shhhh, just close your eyes."

"What did the Dog say to the Chipmunk? Woof."

"Our perfume store is finally going out of business... I guess it just makes scents.Nobody nose about us."

"A beautiful woman in the cafeteria just gagged while eating her banana... She's now dead to me."

"Q: What kind of snake is good at math? A: An adder."