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Joke of the Day
"Why did balloon prices keep rising? Because they had to adjust for inflation."
Next Joke
"why does it take so long for a pirate to learn the alphabet? the could spend years at sea"
"Luke and Obi-Wan walk into a Chinese restaurant. Ten minutes into the meal, Luke's still having trouble with the chopsticks, dropping food everywhere. Obi-Wan finally snaps, ""Use the forks, Luke."""
"Ladies, the next time a guy has the courage to talk to you, remember he's not wearing makeup. Also, remember what you look like without it."
"The ""Lumos/Nox"" trick on Android phones is pretty neat. However... I'd advise the Galaxy Note 7 crowd to avoid ""Avada Kedavra."""
"A Dick in hand is better than pussy in a bush"
"What kind of meat do priests eat on Friday? Nun"
"You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes"
"What do you call a disabled man in the hood? A Kripple."
"I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging Ever since then, my muggings have been a lot more successful!"