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Joke of the Day

"Finally saw ""The Price Is Right"" with the new host. Maybe it's the glasses, but Drew Barrymore looks really different."

"Hannibal Lecter has opened a Turkish resutrant. They only serve Organ Doners"

"Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine? It was soda pressing."

"What kind of suit does a lawyer like best? The Spanish Inquisition."

"Why do Jews have big noses? Because air is free. (Stolen from my science textbook)"

"What kind of car drives over water? Any kind of car if it goes over a bridge."

"Why wasn't the pirate invited to the movie theater? Because they didn't have movie theaters back in the 1800's."

"[remodel] Me: can you please keep that awful noise down? Contractor: for the last time, sir, we don't control who's running for president."

"Does anyone know if it's worth signing up for this sex offender registry? Will I learn any new moves or techniques?"

"What are ISIS militants using to stuff their Thanksgiving goat? Their dicks!"