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Joke of the Day

"Finally saw ""The Price Is Right"" with the new host. Maybe it's the glasses, but Drew Barrymore looks really different."

"Jehovah's Witnesses are like testicles They come in pairs, one is always bigger than the other, they keep knocking on the door but never get in, and if they do, shits about to get freaky."

"Instagram is down! I'm freaking out! What are you people eating? How are your pets? What the hell is happening???"

"I just ordered a Life Alert bracelet... so if I ever get a life I'll be notified immediately."

"How do you contact a cross dresser? Shemail"

"What is OJ Simpson's password on his computer? Slash, slash, backslash, escape."

"The internet connection on my phone seems to be at its fastest when I've clicked the wrong link."

"No plastic surgeon will help me! I have really giant hands and I'd like to make them smaller, but every time I ask the doctor for a hand-job I get kicked out."

"Did you hear the one about the girl that went deep sea fishing with four guys? She came back with a red snapper."

"I don't celebrate Valentine's Day ever since I took a girl out for heart shaped pizza and I realized it was smaller than normal pizza."