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Joke of the Day

"Why can't random men check random women's breasts for cancel? Because that sort of information is on a knead to know basis."

"Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van."

"Texting was a great solution to talking. But now replying to texts is exhausting so I'm done with all communication I guess."

"Joke I told my one-eyed coworker today: Me: What do you call a terrorist who's missing an eye? Him: I give up Me: A terrorst"

"I've kissed so many frogs trying to find a prince that I've actually discovered several new species."

"Wifi was down so had to talk to my gf. She seems nice."

"What do you call an army of gorilla soldiers? Boko Harambe."

"A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night. ""There's a burglar downstairs eating the cake that I made this morning."" ""Who shall I call"" her husband asked ""police or ambulance?"""

"How do fish lose weight? They Swim-fast."

"Damn girl, are you an appendix because I have no idea what you do but this weird feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out."