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Joke of the Day

"what do you call a girl in Georgia that can outrun her brothers? A Virgin."

"Why is Jesus so bad at hockey? Because he keeps getting nailed to the boards!"

"[Arouses Suspicion] Suspicion: I don't want to ruin our friendship."

"Just saw a bundt so big and beautiful I changed my sexual orientation to cake."

"I saw a lady at the gym on the exercise bike, wearing a helmet. So I put on a life jacket and got on the treadmill next to her."

"Apparently my hub is a 92 yr old trapped in a younger body. He just referred to you guys as my Pinstagram friends."

"Sorry I said your baby looks like the anti-Christ. I meant to say she looks like her mother."

"[assembling baby's cot] Wife: take that bit off Me [reluctantly removing the machine gun turret]: so anyone can just walk in here then"

"""I hate being half bicycle-half motorcycle"" he moped"

"What grows when you squeeze it, explodes if you rub it too hard, and children love it? A balloon animal!"