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Joke of the Day

"Buddy 1:Hey ever heard of the movie constipation? Buddy 2:No i have not. Buddy 1: that's because it hasn't come out yet."

"Wife: Where did all this glitter come from? Me: Jake, at State Farm."

"eating ice cream after working out so my body knows who's in charge"

"buzz lightyear's ful name is ""bumblebee 9.460731012 kilometers"""

"I wanted to post a joke about tofu but it's tasteless."

"""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""santa"" ""santa who?"" ""santander... We're repossessing your house because you haven't paid the mortgage""."

"Dropped some rice in water so I put it in a bag of cellphones to dry out"

"What's a neckbeard's favorite pie? Lemon m'ringue pie"

"Why do LEGO men hate going to hospital...? Because plastic surgery costs a fortune!"

"The Inventor of the jug died today. Tributes have been pouring in."