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Joke of the Day

"Why did Harrison Ford Crash his plane? because he was flying solo and went look no hans..."

"Terrible I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what's telling me that."

"Did you hear the one about the Virgin marrying the Supermodel? Yeah, me neither.."

"Which sex position makes the ugliest kids? Ask your parents"

"I love the smell of fabric softener through the outside vents when people do the laundry. I get a lot of restraining orders though."

"Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? A: They don't know the route."

"*sees window washer in a harness outside office high rise* *holds up sign from desk* YOU'RE NOT EVEN FLYING EVERYONE CAN SEE THE STRINGS"

"A funny thing to do when someone's dog barks at you is say, ""I don't speak dog,"" and then when they leave the room, speak dog fluently."

"I always think of doing things for charity. Then, I get back from making a sandwich and I see there are 43 new tweets. Sorry, starving kids!"

"Why is Chris Christie such a successful man? Because he is too big to fail."