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Joke of the Day
"I had a 12 inch Italian last night Then I went to Subway"
Next Joke
"""YES, MOM! NO CRUST! You've been making my sandwiches for 37 years now, STOP ASKING!"" *mom leaves crust on so you'll finally move out*"
"How are your step mother and a 17 in the card game 21 similar? You know you can't but you really want to hit it."
"*slowly unwraps a candy bar as neighbor talks about her new diet"
"The Welsh were among the first to use sheep intestines as condoms.... The English perfected them by removing them from the sheep before using."
"Why wife accused em of being a transvestite... So I packed her things and left."
"""Hello, 911"" Hi it's Mickey my dog is hurt bad ""Is it Goofy or Pluto?"" I don't see how- ""Goofy or Pluto?"" Pluto ""Call a vet"" *hangs up*"
"did you know that the earth used to be 100% water? that was until yo momma got thirsty."
"A friend bought a carton of cigarettes from an Israeli grocery and said she found something for a computer in it It was a JewSB drive"
"My performance as ""guy who acts disgusted when wife says our recently divorced neighbor is dating a 23 year old"" is getting early Emmy buzz."