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Joke of the Day
"Just looked at the price of baby strollers. I think were gonna have an indoor baby."
Next Joke
"I love how people act like they don't want to be followed in the street yet they keep looking back at you to see if you're still there."
"New Show Magic Show Idea I'm going to start a magic show at a funeral home and call it Abra Cadavera Hour"
"My wife is getting fatter... I noticed when her whip cream bikini turned into a one piece"
"What's the difference between a prostitute, a girlfriend and a wife? A prostitute says ""Faster, faster!"" A girlfriend says ""More, more!"" A wife says ""Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."""
"What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side."
"You know what I call it when cute girls cut themselves? Damaged goods, damaging the goods."
"Hey, incessant seatbelt indicator beeping, I'll outlast you; just like your friend the gas light. You're not the boss of me."
"*spills water on pants* ok don't let anyone think you peed your pants ""hey what happ--"" MY WATER BROKE, GET ME TO THE HOSPITAL"
"HYPNOTIST: YOU ARE FEELING SLEEPY ME: kinda safe bet there HYPNOTIST: YOU WILL DANCE LIKE AN OCTOPUS ME: again, still no surprises."