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Joke of the Day

"As a girl: Tinder is like a refrigerator full of food but with nothing I want to eat."

"My necrophiliac girlfriend told me I was dead to her. That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me."

"""the uk couldn't POSSIBLY leave"" ""trump couldn't POSSIBLY be president"" ""we couldn't POSSIBLY start eating each other out of necessity"""

"You know whats funnier than Philly... Your Religion"

"What's different for Sean Connery when he has sex with his wife or with a prostitute? It's the shame."

"Why don't you starve in the desert? Because of the sand which is there."

"The concepts of ""History"", ""Discovery"", and ""Learning"" should be embarrassed by each of their respective Channels."

"Bees aren't disappearing. Trump has been secretly deporting them because he thinks pollination is a hoax created by the Chinese."

"Why did the sausage beat his kids? For being little brats."

"Spain are blaming their loss this evening on the weather. Apparently it was 2 Chile."