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Joke of the Day

"I really don't understand why the federal government was so slow to send aid to the areas hit by Hurricane Andrew. After all both Florida and Louisiana have oil."

"Why is your optometrist gay? They love people who can't see straight!"

"*walks into Kinko's* YO I NEED A CAT SCAN ""I'm sorry sir, we don't--"" *opens bag & removes a terrified cat* I ONLY NEED ONE COPY. IN COLOR."

"Why does your sister have yeast and shoe polish for breakfast ? Because she wants to rise and shine."

"Why can't anybody satisfy a woman completely? Question: ""why can't anybody satisfy a woman completely?"" answer: ""because nobody has a dick made of gold, decorated with diamonds and ejaculates cash"""

"I'm going to have to sit my mom down Apparently she has had sex with everyone on xbox live."

"I'm not the hero Gotham deserves. I'm Pete I work at Subway. Do u want extra meetballs."

"[SCIENCE FAIR] ME: It's a Pez dispenser, but for hot Pop-Tarts. PRINCIPAL: This fair is for kids. OTHER PARENT: Shut up, let him finish."

"You guys can laugh at my cargo pants all you want, but I just walked out of Taco Bell with 350 sauce packets."

"You would be a good dancer Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things. Boy: What are the two things? Girl: Your feet"