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Joke of the Day
"""Do you need a ride?"" Me, to every jogger I pass in my car"
Next Joke
"Guys, read the fine print before selling your soul to the devil. There's no way to opt out of his email newsletters."
"Why was the egg late for work? It ova slept."
"Just reported a car stolen because the people inside are black and the stick figures on the window were white"
"According to the 25th Amendment, if the President is incapacitated, the Vice President becomes the executive producer of ""The Apprentice."""
"My friend just told me he has screwed every girl in his class He is homeschooled"
"2 Wind Turbines walk into a bar... The first says, ""What kind of music do you like?"" The second says, ""I'm a heavy metal fan."""
"#1: Checking your phone after someone else pulls out their phone is the yawn of our generation."
"Love it when moms refer to kids by age in tweets. ""6 fell down today"". Wonder if the kids do the opposite at school: ""33 is drunk again""."
"Why do ballerinas stand on their toes? Can't they just get taller women?"