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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the zygote that joined the army? I heard he was diploid. (I'll show myself out...)"

"How do men in New Zealand address their women? ""Hey! Ewe!"""

"I was born to be a pessimist.. My blood type is B Negative."

"If your conspiracy theory doesn't involve cats, don't bother me."

"Anything I accomplish before I finish my first cup of coffee has been fueled by rage."

"My girlfriend said she will leave me unless I stop pretending to be a hotel... I said, 'but you can never leave!' 'You can check out anytime you like'."

"How Many Bit Coins Does it take to screw in a Lightbulb? 00000000000001adf44c7d69767585--5572eca4dd4-db7d0c0b845-916d849af76 PM me the answer!"

"My friend has a real bad drug habit Its so bad i found him snorting shake and vac off my carpet last night.............he is clean now."

"I've got two tickets to paradise and a they're both obstructed view."

"Guys socialize by making fun of each other, but they don't mean it. Girls socialize by giving compliments to each other but they don't meant it either."