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Joke of the Day
"I do have a swimmers body, he's been in my trunk for days"
Next Joke
"Yesterday 8 mosquitoes bit me! I guess I now have a mosquito bite"
"Me: goodnight kids Kids: goodnight dad Me: goodnight monster that eats children who are bad Wife: [through radio under the bed] GOODNIGHT"
"If I promise to miss you, will you go away?"
"Nice try, dogs who wear ""Please Don't Pet Me, I'm Working"" vests."
"I hate being that creepy guy outside your window, but damn girl it's 7:30 already. You're gonna be late for work."
"Why do people with a gluten allergy usually make for pretty funny comedians? Because they always have silly acts."
"NSFW: I just realized that I've never been with a black or middle eastern girl... So I added them to my fuckit list."
"My friend said his dog retrieved a ball he threw over a mile away. I don't know, that seems pretty far fetched."
"Why are white prisoners so scary? Because you know they did it."