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Joke of the Day

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of half a pizza thinking it's been long enough since I ate the 1st half to consider this a different meal"

"Just heard this oldie, but goodie from a friend Two does are walking out of a bar after a long night of drinking, and one turns to the other and says, ""I can't believe I just blew 30 bucks."""

"Have you heard about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?? He's 0K now."

"Do 90-year-old men wear boxers or briefs? Depends."

"Why is the O in Opossum silent? Because it's playing dead."

"What do you call a drum that causes problems? A conundrum"

"How to sex: Boy: can I put my finger in your belly button Girl: sure Girl: that's not my belly button Boy: that's not my finger"

"I beat my chess opponent in less than five moves with a baseball bat."

"Did you guys hear about the old TV series ""The Year""? It only had four seasons."

"Aaron Hernandez found guilty of first-degree murder He has been sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. Not sure how much longer he's going to remain a ""tight end"""