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Joke of the Day

"Shia muslims are not welcome in the City of Brotherly Love... Because it's always sunni in Philadelphia."

"Having a talk about drugs with my 11 yr old, and she said ""If I'm going to do anything, it will be hot boys."" I think I just had a stroke."

"Coworker to me: "" Why are you always rushing out of here after work? You're single with no kids."" Me: "" Exactly."""

"Hey, the army. Camouflage your helicopters blue, not green. You're fucking welcome."

"A terrorist walks into a pet store and says ""You have 5 minutes to get out of here...I'm going to blow myself up."" Tortoise : Dafuq :-/"

"What does a Seal drink at a bar? Anything but Canadian Club.."

"Why is Jesus black? Because he's our father, and still hasn't come back yet...."

"What happened to the body builder ...whose favorite gym closed down? He was depressed."

"No one can text faster than a pissed off woman"

"Q: What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison? A: A small medium at large."