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Joke of the Day

"told my Subway sandwich artist the toppings I wanted but then I whispered ""love"" so now I can't go to that Subway anymore"

"What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with a vegetable? Mrs. Hawking"

"What do you call an exam that a Biology major almost failed? Biodegradable."

"Beginning Magic by Beatrix Star"

"What does a burning Mexican farm smell like? Tacos. Overheard an old man telling another guy how he lost his farm in Mexico , and how the smell reminded him of tacos."

"My wife said I was average. I said she was mean."

"Two women want to form a project group... Turns out it was a real misfit."

"If I had a dollar for every person alive I wanted to kill... I might have let a few of them live."

"How does a rice burner start a street race? With a pilaf."

"A jumper cable walks into a bar The bartender says, ""Sure, you can stay, but don't start anything!"""