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Joke of the Day

"Impress your date. Be wild. Flip the table. Flip it 360 so its upright again & nothing has moved except a roll that has flown into her mouth"

"How do you kill a one-legged fox? You make him run across Canada..."

"""I didn't go to grad school to assemble agenda folios for the quarterly board meeting"" I think as I drizzle Dawn into the CEO's coffee pot."

"I went to the gym and asked the guy there to teach me how to do the splits..... He said 'how flexible are you?' I said 'I can't do Thursdays.' Credit: Tommy Cooper"

"Who is the drummer for the Mexican Beatles? Gringo Starr"

"Why did the tree look pissed off all the time? It had Resting Birch Face."

"At a First Date Conversation At a first date: He: ""I work with animals every day!"" She: ""Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?"" He: ""I'm a butcher."""

"How does a feminist ask for Halloween candies? Trigger Treat."

"Petting my dog with a spatula cause I'm too lazy to reach and he is too lazy to move closer Why is there a spatula in my room?"

"Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock KNOCK KNOCK. Who is there? The pilot."