109362
Joke of the Day
"Mitt Romney."
Next Joke
"Johnny and Ruth are mountain biking down a hill... ...Ruth hits a tree. Johnny continues, ruthlessly."
"What did one alcoholic say to the other alcoholic? I forget"
"On the news: there's a shortage of maternity-ward staff. You could say it's a bit of a...*looks away* *mumbles* MIDWIFE crisis! (...sorry.)"
"You're probably wondering how I tweet so much while maintaining a loving marriage and two amazing kids. The key is neglect."
"My attempt at a terrible Christmas joke. What name does Jesus use when delivering pizzas? Chjesus Chrust *Thanks I will show myself out*"
"Why did the bar owner by a diamond mine get arrested? He attributed to the delinquency of a miner."
"My sex party was a big disappointment... Nobody came."
"Why couldn't the laptop go to sleep? Because it has two shifts."
"What do you say to an airplane when it gets mad? Cool your jets."