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Joke of the Day
"You know it's time for a pedicure when you can exfoliate one foot with the other one"
Next Joke
"When you get angry at someone count out loud to ten. When you get to eight, throw a punch. Nobody expects that sh!t."
"No matter how romantic of a mycologist you are Never tell your partner you're about to give them a tiny mushroom tip."
"The patient was about to die ""Well,"" said the doctor, ""He can wait."""
"Why your convertible is like the best girlfriend you've ever had (1) She enjoys when you're inside her (2) She squeals when you're going hard and fast (3) She takes her top off whenever you ask"
"A guy walks up to a girl in Starbucks Hey girl, how would you like to be my skinny vanilla latte? go light on the cream though, that's for later."
"LPT: When Reddit is down it is a perfect time to do something away from your computer, like for example crying in a corner Well Reddit was down and I had to do something"
"Why did the perv go into Victoria's Secret? The panties were half off"
"I ate 4 cans of alphabet soup and just took probably the biggest vowel movement ever."
"What does a mermaid stoner smoke? Seaweed."