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Joke of the Day

"Contrary to what my voicemail will lead you to believe, I am in fact not sorry for missing your call"

"What's the difference between an American student and an English student ? About 3000 miles !"

"What's the difference between your mom and a pizza? One I eat everyday, and the other is an Italian-based flatbread with tomato sauce"

"What noise did the dumbbells make when they were dropped? ... Dong-Ding."

"My friend recently found out that he is both gay and dyslexic... He is still in Daniel..."

"Accidentally brushed my teeth with hemorrhoid cream ...but at least my asshole smells minty fresh"

"A chinese tiger mom asks her daughter a question about her future: Erizabeth, you stirr want to be a doctoh right? Her daughter replies: No, actuary..."

"A 9gag member posted original content"

"I have electrified a clickbait journalist's toilet. Number 2 will shock them."

"My daughter may only be one year old today, but she retrieves beer from the fridge at a fourth grade level."