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Joke of the Day

"When do you kick a midget in the balls? When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice"

"Honeymooners (II) Her friend asked how the honeymoon went. ""OK,"" she said. ""Though Niagara Falls wasn't as big as I hoped, either."""

"How do you find a blonde on reddit? Look for the comments that just say ""huh?"""

"What's 9 inches long,pink, and makes my girlfriend scream when I put it in her mouth Her miscarriage"

"I'm just saying, if I were a bomb maker, I would make all the wires the same color."

"If someone is a vegan, does crossfit, and has a rescue dog.... which one do they tell you about first?"

"Argon walks into a bar. And the bartender says, ""We don't serve Noble Gasses in here!"" Argon does not react."

"I saw an ad on craigslist for a mama sheep, a ram, and a cat fetus all for sale for only five dollars. I said to myself, ""Ewe goat to-be kitten!"""

"I bought one follower just to see what it was like and he showed up at my job and his name is Eddie and he's kind of freaking me out guys."

"What is the difference between your wife and your job? Your job still sucks."