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Joke of the Day

"The biggest difference between men and women... Is what comes to mind when the word 'facial' is used."

"What should you do when you meet a beautiful woman with sparkling eyes, wet lips, pink cheeks, shivering body.... Keep going! She has flu symptoms!"

"Diarrhea is just confirming the fact that you make poor life decisions."

"It's amazing, when a dog licks its own arse it's perfectly normal. But when I do it... I get arrested for bestiality."

"Spent way too much time walking around the house trying to track down an odd noise that turned out to be a whistle in my nose."

"A Jewish kid asks his Jewish Dad for 50$... His dad says ""40$? What do you need 20$ for?"""

"A zero and an eight are walking in a desert... and the zero asks the eight ""aren't you too hot with that belt on?"""

"Unraveling iPod earbuds in less than 10 minutes qualifies you to perform surgery in most 3rd world countries."

"A big shout out to my cat for hissing at an empty closet and keeping me in the bathtub holding a crucifix."

"My son was really scared after swallowing some lego."