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Joke of the Day

"All of Ariel's mer-sisters' names started with A too. More like keeping up with the Karsplashians."

"Look out man! You know the difference between driving in the fog and 69ing is? You can't see the asshole in front of you driving in the fog."

"To the people who will be posting 9/11 jokes this month: Please don't do it. Making jokes about 9/11 is just **plane** wrong. ~~dontkillmeforthis~~"

"When a newly married woman smiles, all know why, but when a ten-years married woman smiles, all wonder why."

"Me and my brother buried the hatchet last night! We dumped the hooker in the lake though."

"Beethoven hyping the crowd. Beethoven: YOU WANNA HEAR A SYMPHONY? *crowd cheers* Beethoven: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"Accidentally took an adderall instead of an anti-depressant now I'm SUPER focused on my depression."

"Here's a joke about Ebola You probably won't get it though."

"Women Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad"

"Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Because he was out standing in his field"