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Joke of the Day

"Today, I started on my second million dollars! I gave up on my first."

"Always answer a math question in a silly voice because if you're wrong they'll think you're joking and if you're right they'll feel dumb."

"What do you call a cow that plays the guitar? A Moosician!"

"Reporter: How do you feel that your proposal was turned down by Congress? Obama: Well, I've alw-- Biden: [grabs mic] TURNED DOWN FOR WHAT?"

"What should you not put in the washer with a load full of towels? A towel full of loads"

"the one joke that i just dont get so how bout that airline food"

"Mark Zuckerberg came up with the idea for Facebook when he was at a party & a racist uncle wrote a bible quote on a painting then poked him"

"I understand the face situation but you don't have to be ugly on the inside too"

"What is the only feeling that's worse than sitting on a cold toilet seat? Sitting on a warm one."

"Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water. God knows what they did up there because they came down with a daughter."