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Joke of the Day

"Absence does not make the heart grow fonder. Unless you're talking about Oreos."

"I don't like referencing Not et al."

"I told my dad to do a magic trick So he disappeared forever"

"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender, confusing idioms with jokes, offers the horse water but cannot make it drink."

"What do cells say when their sister shoots their foot? Mitosis"

"What makes a great pizza joke? It's all in the delivery."

"Just finished writing my will. In TOTALLY UNRELATED news, I'm about to try resolving some issues regarding my iTunes library."

"What do you call a cow that has abortion? Decaffeinated"

"Thought of this while making breakfast. What did the microbiologist bring to the art fair? A cup of yogurt."

"If I could pick any super power it would be... echo sound location so I could see with my eye's closed."