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Joke of the Day

"Do you know there is a serial number printed on every condom? I guess you haven't rolled it down far enough."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? Give me a few minutes to get hard, I just got laid."

"Why do grandparents have so many clocks? So they won't run out of time"

"What's it called when the queen farts? Helium Neon Argon Krypton Xenon Radon"

"Poor tradesman... ...blame his fools. I mean tools. Fuckin keyboard"

"Overheard in 2nd grade class today: ""Do your work! Santa's watching right now."" ""Yeah, my mom told me that ship has sailed for me long ago."""

"Whats the difference between a feminist and a jihad? one actually fights for change"

"Why are most cemeteries fenced in? Because everyone is dying to get in"

"*interrupts friends* ""u gotta hear this tweet..Ok.."" *realizes tweet starts with 'action asterisks' & doesnt know how to read that out loud*"

"How does a female deer get revenge on her cheating husband? She goes into town and blows a few bucks!"